My wife, 33, is desperate for a baby but I'm 52 and don't want to be an old dad

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife is 33 and desperate for a baby but I’m 52 and don’t want to be an old dad. Is there any way around this?

We’ve been married for three years and while she’s at a great age to have a baby, I’d be better as a grandad than a dad.


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When we met, she said she was fine never having children of her own.

I have two sons from a previous marriage, aged nine and ten, who she adores. She also said that they gave her everything she needed.

But recently she has started talking about trying for a baby.

I’m adamant I don’t want to be an old dad. It was exhausting looking after babies in my 40s, let alone now.

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DEIDRE SAYS: This is a more common problem than you’d think. Lots of women feel a strong urge to have a biological child.

While your wife loves your kids like her own, perhaps she feels like she missed out on being pregnant and experiencing those early years.

If your wife stays with you and never has a child, she may come to resent you and this could ultimately end your relationship.

On the other hand, you may come to resent her if you have a baby against your will.

It may help to have some counselling, to help you see the other’s perspective and to think this through thoroughly. My support pack How Counselling Works shows where to find help.

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