I can have multiple orgasms with my boyfriend but I can't do it by myself

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM sexually confident and really satisfied with the sexual relationship my boyfriend and I share.

My issue is I can only have multiple orgasms with him, never on my own.


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I am 28 and he is 36. We are very open with each other in the bedroom and happy to share what we think and want to try.

I am super-sensitive and regularly have several orgasms during foreplay and penetration with him which is great and I know I am lucky.

The issue is, if I try the same on my own, I don’t get aroused and it simply doesn’t feel the same.

I have bought toys to help me and still have no joy.

I’m finding this frustrating as my boyfriend isn’t always around – he sometimes works away for a few days.

So while he is away, I don’t get any release at all.

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DEIDRE SAYS: The answer is more than likely to be psychological.

Even if you aren’t consciously aware, if you were brought up to see masturbation as something to be ashamed of, then this could have created a mental block for you.

There is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself and I’m sending you two support packs, Women And Orgasm and Worried About Masturbation?, which will help you to enjoy your own body.

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