How to ask a girl to be your girlfriend?

DEIDRE SAYS: Committing to someone can be daunting, so it’s no surprise many have questions on how to ask someone out. 

More than 50 per cent of Brits are in a monogamous relationship, each with their own story for how they went ‘exclusive.’ 

But how do you know when it’s the right time? 

There’s no right or wrong to asking someone out, but here’s some tips to help make it special.


If possible, this conversation is best had face-to-face. It will mean more to your partner than a text, Whatsapp or direct message on social media. 

Ask her directly. Whispers between her friends and yours won’t make the best impression either. 

Make sure you pick the right location. Not all women will love being asked publicly, and doing it during or after sex can give the wrong impression. 

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One of the key things to consider is whether to make a big deal of it. 

Some will want a big spectacle, with fireworks and flowers. Previous Love Island contestants have written the message out in towels, candles and flowers. 

But others will simply settle for the question. 


There is no set rule on this – it depends on when it feels right.

But it is best to ask the question when you think you’re both ready. Trust your instinct.

Be careful not to rush into a relationship too fast because you are full of longing.  Relationships need to develop steadily – you risk scaring off someone who might have become special by being too intense too soon.

Similarly, be aware that leaving it too long may give the impression that you’re not ready to commit. 

More information is available in our Learning About Relationships support pack. 

Whatever your worry, you’re not alone. The Dear Deidre team will be able to recommend your best next steps to help get your life back on track. 

For a support pack and personalised advice, email us at [email protected] or for a prompt response, message us on Facebook.

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