Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day – please don't do the angry pirate sex move
Fun things you can do on Talk Like A Pirate Day: Talk like a pirate.
Not fun things you definitely shouldn’t do on Talk Like A Pirate Day: The Angry Pirate sex move.
That’s right, the anticipated international day is here once again, and once again we’re having to remind people to keep it clean, and to keep their nasty pirate antics out of the gutter.
Each year, people get their scallywag and ladlubber on, and participate in the tradition that has been going since 1995.
There are all sorts of promotions – more so in the US – and some workplaces do charity days where you can don a hook and eye patch for a good cause.
One worrying thing has come out of all this pirate love, however, and that’s the Angry Pirate.
What is the angry pirate sex position?
Firstly, it’s not exactly a position. Secondly, we’re specifically advising you not to do this, so this explanation is simply for informational purposes.
We wrote about it last year, in response to Holly Hagan bringing it up on the show Five Star Hotel, but it appears to have reared it’s ugly pirate hat once again.
Basically it’s when a man is being given a blow job (to get really technical, that’s when someone else is stimulating the penis with their mouth), and decides that when he ejaculates, he’s going to aim his semen into one of his sexual partner’s eyes.
Then when the man’s sexual partner expresses rage or shock – which they likely will – the man kicks them in the shin. The whole idea is to make the sexual partner walk around grumbling and winking… like an angry pirate.
What are the risks of the angry pirate?
Well, obviously the first risk is that, without your sexual partner’s consent, it could be considered sexual misconduct or even assault.
If they’ve explicitly asked you to do this to them, then that’s another story (hey, whatever shivers your timbers). However, breaking the trust of someone who’s giving you oral sex is more than just rude – it’s abhorrent.
If you do have consent, be aware that sexually transmitted infections can be passed through the eyes, and you should still take all the normal precautions when jizz is involved.
Talk Like A Pirate Day is all fun and games. Let’s keep it that way.
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