Man shares 38 refreshingly honest life truths every adult needs to hear
Life can be wonderful, magical and exhilarating – but it can also be challenging, depressing and painful.
One man has perfectly captured the struggles and best parts of being alive in a list of 38 life lessons.
Declan Cashin, Curation Lead for Twitter UK, chose to celebrate his 38th birthday by sharing a list of 38 things he's learned during his lifetime.
His post was so refreshingly honest that it quickly went viral, with more than 17,000 people liking it and over 2,000 retweeting.
He wrote: "I'm 38 today. So here are 38 things I thought I'd share for your enjoyment/mockery/trolling/contemplation. In no order of importance and not touching on everything in (my) life. But 38 things I've learned or learned to accept."
His list featured a mixture of advice and hard truths some people probably really needed to hear including "get a therapist" and "there's no such thing as a job for life".
Many fellow Twitter users praised him for being so honest and thanked him for sharing the list.
One person commented: "At 66 I agree with so much of this."
Another said: "Love all of this. None of us had everything nailed."
A third replied: "I loved this list. Others look so fine, so sewn up, so in charge but most are not. We have addictions, 2am waking worries, the child who isn't dealing with stuff, our loneliness and our loss. But my experience is that this is just life and it's funny, wondrous and worth it."
Someone else added: "Well this is quite beautiful."
Here's a look at all 38 things Declan has learned:
1. I cut back on drinking. Last year I did an extended Dry January that totally changed my relationship with alcohol. I still drink here and there but not anything approaching as regularly as before. I'd advise anyone in their thirties to give it a try. If you don't like it fine, but I've found it life-changing.
2. Get a therapist, if you can. Everyone. Even if you think you don't need one. Especially if you think you don't need one.
3. Your friends with kids need your help. Don't believe them when they insist they have it all under control. They're exhausted. Offer to babysit. Insist on it.
4. Getting over my aversion to audiobooks has been revelatory. You end up reading so much more and more regularly than you can imagine.
5. Go to the chiropractor. Even if you think you don't need to. Especially if you think you don't need to.
6. Stop avoiding the dentist.
7. My dad died this year. It kinda knocked me for six. I feel completely disoriented. Losing a parent at *sny* age is gonna be terrible. Go easy on yourself.
8. There's no such thing as a job for life. Or a career for life, for that matter.
9. When you're offered a new job, always ask for more money than you think is possible. Always. Absolutely always. It's very difficult to get that once you're in the job.
10. Doing things by yourself is great. The cinema, especially.
11. That being said, I still struggle to go to a restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night by myself.
12. Nobody is having as much sex as you think they are.
13. Ok, some people are, and it's ok to envy and admire them for it. But even people you think to be most sexually liberated and self-confident have their own stuff. Everyone has their own stuff.
14. Comparing yourself to others is a mental health catastrophe. I still do it. But I try to catch myself doing it now.
15. I don't think I'll ever be able to buy my own place. I think I'm ok with that. Well, not really, but I'm trying to be.
16. Appreciate good bosses. Tell them they are good bosses.
17. Debt is an absolutely soul-destroying problem. It stops you from living your life. I've spent most of my thirties tackling and living with personal debt. Credit card debt is especially horrific. 18-24 month 0% interest balance transfer credit cars are your friend, at least temporarily.
18. Seriously, those friends or family members of yours that you know have debt problems? Ask them how they're doing. Keep asking them.
19. I'm now 38 and I've never been in a relationship. Ever. Not for longer than 2-3 months, and even then I didn't give it my full heart. I sabotage everything that even comes close to being a relationship. I struggle to even go on dates. I'm working on it, I swear. It's the f***ing work of a lifetime for me, and I'm sure it is for others too."
20. New Year's Eve is always terrible. Go out on December 20, if you must, and then spend Dec 31 doing nothing.
21. If you can at all, make a plan to have a holiday somewhere warm and/or interesting in January. Every January. January on this side of the world is horrendous.
22. Give up on those books or TV shows that you're just not enjoying.
23. Dogs should be compulsory on public transport during the morning commute.
24. I only started learning to cook and bake when I was 34. I still don't know how to drive. I'm not a great swimmer. I'm working on it. On and off.
25. I've been struggling to write a book for years now. It's really difficult. Tip your hat to anyone who has written a book, even one you think is a bad book. It's a really, really fucking hard job.
26. Getting to see your nephews and nieces grow into adults is weird and wonderful and you'll never stop treating them like children, nor should you.
27. I only started getting semi-serious about regular exercise in my early 30s. Find something you like and can do regularly.
28. I don't even pretend to fake an interest in things I don't like (prime example: football). But I try to make some effort to show an interest when it's important to important people in my life.
29. The older I get, the more appreciation and respect and yes, love I have for my siblings.
30. It's taken me a long time to realise and to accept that I just don't enjoy visiting art galleries and will not even pretend to be interested anymore. See no 28 for same caveat.
31. Put the effort into your friendships.
32. Stop telling yourself you're not good enough or qualified enough for that job in your field. Look at the world around you. Look at the people who are in charge. Trust me, you're good enough. You're qualified.
33. My default position for life has been: have low expectations, then you can never be disappointed. Won't lie, it's not a great approach to life. It'll keep you safe and cynical, but that's about it.
34. I've been on anti-depressants for five years now. Not sure if they're working or not, I don't know anything, really, when it comes to mental health, only that I'm willing to try whatever I can to stay steady and relatively healthy.
35. Try to be on time for things.
36. Take your backpacks off on busy trains.
37. Naps are f***ing great. Embrace them.
38. Self-deprecation is fine. Just don't let it tip over into self-loating. I'm looking at you, fellow Irish person.
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