Hayden Panettiere Insists Focusing on Herself Was the Most Unselfish Thing to Do Amid Addiction
The former ‘Heroes’ actress claims she was unaware that she lost custody of her daughter while she was focusing on herself in an effort to be ‘the best mom’ for the child.
AceShowbiz –Hayden Panettiere had no idea she was losing custody of her daughter. The 33-year-old actress – who has been candid about her struggles with addiction and depression – has broken silence about losing custody of Kaya, now seven, after her daughter moved to Ukraine with Hayden’s ex Wladimir Klitschko.
“She was almost three, and it wasn’t fully my decision. In fact, I didn’t even know it was happening until she was already over there,” she said in a clip from “Red Table Talk” revealed by Entertainment Tonight.
The “Heroes” star explained that she realised she needed to focus on herself and the “unselfish thing” would be focus on herself. She added, “I was trying to tell myself that if I’m not OK, if I’m not good, then I cannot be the best mom to you.”
“I was going through such a hard time that I knew the most unselfish thing I could do was to make that hard decision and just try to work on myself.”
Hayden – who would later spend eight months in rehab – previously addressed her battle with alcoholism after hitting her lowest point before Kaya moved to live with her father.
She said, “I would have the shakes when I woke up and could only function with sipping alcohol. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I wanted to be a good mom to her – and sometimes that means letting them go.”
While suffering with depression, Hayden has made it clear while she “never had the feeling that [she] wanted to harm [her] child,” she “didn’t want to spend any time with her.”
Reflecting on her relationship with ex Klitschko – which ended for good in 2018 – she added, “He didn’t want to be around me. I didn’t want to be around me. But with the opiates and alcohol I was doing anything to make me feel happy for a moment. Then I’d feel worse than I did before. I was in a cycle of self-destruction.”
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